i think my mom watched the whole time
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
