3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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