if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
