i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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