Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
love makes seman taste better
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
