dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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