Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
