he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
