My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
