yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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