Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
