you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
