mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Rumble strips road head = magical
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize