No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
