so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
