drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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