And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
