Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
