Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
