Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
