try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize