we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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