office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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