I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm at about main and main street
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
