Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
