He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
