my mouth tastes like poor choices
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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