based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
