so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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