She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
