I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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