just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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