We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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