1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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