he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
