My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
