Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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