dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize