Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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