I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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