Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
