honey bunches of taint.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
