dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
