im drinking this country out of the recession.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
