Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
