am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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