i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
did you just send me my own nude
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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