Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
