Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
