Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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