We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
