one two three fourrrrnication!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
