I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
