It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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