The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
