i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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