She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
