jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize