Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
