Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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